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4. The fourth step is having the commitment and skill to make the changes toward greater control. We may have the belief that we will do something but not necessarily have the commitment to follow through with it. Along with commitment, we must also know how to use the tools to gain greater controlwe must have the skill to perform the task. |
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5. The last step is the recognition of success at gaining greater control and feeling the sense of competence and mastery that goes with this recognition. We must clearly register any changed thoughts, feelings, or behaviors so we may reinforce ourselves for our efforts, making it easier to take on new challenges in other areas we may wish to change. |
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In the positive yielding mode, recognition of success means realizing the actual sense of control that goes with true acceptance of that which we can't change. It is important to recognize that this acceptance is relaxed and with reliefand not a forced, effortful holding back out of frustration of not being able to employ the assertive mode of control. This forced holding back is what I earlier termed a not-doing doing. |
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Assessment and Goal Setting: Examples |
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Assuming we have the desire for greater control, believe we have the right to have control, and believe we have the ability to make the changes, what else do we need to know to gain control? We need to have the skills, or tools to put into practice that which will achieve our goal. To set our goal, we first need to know what we want to change, which control mode is appropriate, and how we will measure our goal. |
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What is it we wish to gain greater control of? Let's say we feel out of control in using trading software and hardware and want to feel more competent. Beginners will, without exception, feel overwhelmed and out of control when they first encounter Level II data. Between real-time tick charts, various interval S&P futures graphs, time and sales data rapidly scrolling down the screen, a real-time portfolio tracker, and two or more Level II boxes with various colors being "eaten up" so fast you can barely discern what's happening, the common initial reaction is to sit dumb-founded at what is flickering across the screen! |
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So how will we tackle this? We decide that there is just one way to go: the positive assertive mode. Specifically, we decide we will gain greater control by watching and learning the software in mock |
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