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So Ron was doing his best to contain his envy. But when he found out that his brother was going to receive a year-end bonus of $4 million, the mercury reading of his envy burst through the thermometer. He estimates his brother's net worth to be at least $40 million. The prosperity of one leads to the disparity experienced by the otherand boy, did he feel the disparity. His brother hasn't even had to actively manage a portfolio of securities. He just has to do his best to keep the stock price of his company going through the roof and his heart beating until he gets to cash in on all of his good fortune. |
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Comparing Apples to Oranges |
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A second example of windfall profits envy may be somewhat less transparent and dramatic. But it illustrates how easy it is to get stuck comparing ourselves to the person who is making more and living higher off the hog than we are. This seems to be a natural (socially learned) human bias: to focus more on the person who is above us on the financial and social pecking order than the one below us. Our desires keep us looking upward, if not always moving forward |
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If you are surrounded by people living lavishly with every convenience and plaything that money can buy, it is easier to get caught up in feeling envy than it is to feel grateful for what you have. To stay in touch with our own good fortune, we have to hang around (or at least visit) scenes where large numbers of people have much less than we do. It always works, at least for a while, until we leave the scene, come back to the land of lavish abundance, and then become unaware again. |
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In any case, this patient is about 40 and, like Ron, making a very good living as an attorney. He has put money into the stock market and has made a decent return. And he has enough in savings to make anyone feel secure. But he happens to have as clients people who are making very high returns from their investments. He compares himself to them and falls woefully short of the multimillions that they have been able to amass from their investments in the stock market and other holdings. And he ends up depressed and then ruminates about it. |
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He thinks he ought to be playing in the same league as they are. He has not been able to maintain the necessary and real boundary between himself and them, forgetting that he is serving them as clients, |
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