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Balancing the Active and Yielding Modes |
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The active and yielding modes are used as needed: the active to help us feel more control of those areas in which we can actively do something to enhance our sense of control, and the yielding in those areas in which there is nothing we can do except give in and accept what is. Sometimes we will use the modes together in gaining control, one before the other. Other times they may work to counterbalance each other. |
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Like the Chinese concept of yin and yangeach needing the other to complete the wholeactive and yielding modes of control, each contains aspects of the other within it. For example, it takes a lot of effort and discipline to let go and be more accepting of what is. In the same way, it is during periods of quiet reflection that we often realize it is time to make assertive change. |
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The positive yielding mode makes it more likely that our assertive change strategies will not lead to negative assertive overcontrol. Also, skillfully using the positive assertive mode helps ensure that a positive yielding approach in gaining control does not result in passive resignation (Shapiro and Astin, 1998). |
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We can do everything possible to learn about trading, stocks, business, and economics issues that make us informed and skillful traders and investors. At the same time, we need to realize that with all our knowledge, we will miss certain news, certain moves in the market, and make some wrong trading decisions based on limited information. |
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We can second-guess ourselves every trading day when we look back and see what we could have done differently. But this kind of wishful thinking and ruminating on what could have been isn't going to be as effective as learning how to let go and move on to the next opportunity. |
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We need to stay flexible and ready to change direction, even as we pursue our trading goals with positive, assertive steps to gain more personal control. We need to work toward realizing these goals while staying open to changing them along the way or even giving them up altogether. |
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This is the exquisite and paradoxical dance of self-control. And those traders and investors who learn the psychological steps well will still be standing on the dance floor when the music of the gyrating market has been silenced for the day by the closing bell. |
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